


Reasons of Democracy

by Snow



Category: Infinite Jest - David Foster Wallace
Genre: American Politics, Canada, Footnotes, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-24
Updated: 2009-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-05 05:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snow/pseuds/Snow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>President Gentle has a talk with the new Canadian Prime Minister.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reasons of Democracy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ally](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ally/gifts).



There was a tendency among the citizens of his country for people to assume that Canadian PM and former lawyer Peter Dolson was weak-willed.1 And he was. However, all things considered, given that his predecessor had been shot by Gentle's secret service, the Sec. State for Canada considered himself as eminently reasonable man, doing what anyone reasonable would do. Gentle agreed, if no one else did.

gentle: I'd really like to issue my congratulations on your election. Is elections what they call them up there?

P.M. can./sec. CAN./V-C O.N.A.N/P. Dolson: Yes, we do.

gentle: Oh, excellent. That makes me happy, for the reasons of democracy and everything. It's good to know that we share standards with our neighbours and friends. That it's really really easy to find common ground. That there really isn't any need for the conflict I had with your predecessor. You know what I mean?

P. DOLSON: Yes, of course.

gentle: Good. Now what we need to sort out is that water situation. Basically I'm seeing the issue that you have an excess of water, and we could really use some of that water. Texas in particular, was a rather strong supporter of me when I ran, and I'm seeing that they're not getting the water they need. And really, they elected me in on the promise that I'd be able to get them the work, as well as all those other things I said I'd do and totally still plan to, and those things I've done, as well as those things I haven't done and have no plans to do, but really, no one's keeping track of those in the first place.

p. dolson: I dig you, but I think we need the water ourselves. For drinking purposes mostly.

GENTLE: I certainly understand where you're coming from, and it's ground that I appreciate, but I've been told that there's plenty of water to go around, and it certainly makes sense, because really I'm sure most people are drinking much more than they need, besides there's all that excess water that just sits in the lakes looking pretty. And it's really unnecessary.

P. Dolson: I do get the feeling that there are all sorts of wildlife which are relying on this water.

gentle: Yes, but I'm thinking that the wildlife2 isn't as important as the people in Texas. Particularly those who voted for me. You have to understand, as an elected official yourself, the importance of keeping these people happy.

P. Dolson: I do, but these aren't really the people I'm accountable to.

Gentle: I thought we had an understanding. Because I can understand that you're confused, but really, I thought you were all on board with this.

p. dolson: Oh, I see what you're talking about. No, I'm totally on board. You're got the steering wheel, and I am directing the rowers.

gentle: I knew I liked you better than the other guy. I must say, you're much more handsome than he is as well.

P. Dolson: You flatterer you.

* * *

1\. Actual terms used in public newspapers shortly after he was sworn into office were spineless, chicken, and pusillanimous.

2\. Gentle's definition of wildlife, contrary to public perception, does not include eggplant, but it does include both mice and mushrooms.

**Author's Note:**

> I welcome and appreciate all kinds of comments, though I would (obviously) prefer if any criticism was constructive. :)


End file.
